When Life Gives You Lemons...

make a lemon loaf.

I'm sitting at a novel Starbucks - the entire front of the store is
open to the outdoors - eating a slice of their lemon loaf accompanied
by green tea (decaf - because my old body can't handle caffeine late
at night).

I've been on a diet but had the type of day that requires spoiling
oneself. In fact, I've had those types of days quite frequently over
the last few months thereby necessitating a diet.

One positive that made me smile today - the guy that I think is cute
at work (hereby forever to be known as "Macho Man") stopped by my
cube. Unfortunately he has a knack of stopping by when I'm
incapacitated by snorting laughter or work. This time around I was
actually working. Didn't see him around so much today which is
actually good. It's hard not to check out his butt as he walks by.

Did I mention I work in HR and sexual harassment of any kind is a huge
no-no? lmao.

Geez, what I would give to be sexually harassed right now.

Work has gone from bad to worse. I used to walk in and know exactly
what I needed to do that day. Now I walk in, get settled at my desk
and feel an overwhelming urge to walk out.

I spent most of this weekend outdoors - Saturday running errands and
Sunday hanging with friends and family.

Did I mention it's my anniversary? Next Monday would mark my 2nd year
being back in NY. Maybe my unconscious was aware of the impending
date this weekend. Saturday afternoon I drove out to visit my former
mentor's tea shop. Let's call her Capricorn Pat. A fellow Capricorn
that I first encountered when I started in HR. She impressed me with
her frankness and creativity. Then I heard her curse (repeatedly) and
became enamored. What have I learned from my mentor? HR sucks.
Period.

And the company that I left two years ago? I found out the CEO
resigned and joined a competitor. A huge disappointment to me. I was
soooo in love with him. Well, not in love. I just thought he was
really hot, intelligent, and charismatic. I thought he was going to
change my former company around. Now I don't even know if it'll be
around for another 5 years.

Oh, the times how they are achanging.

I want out of this corporate stint. I just don't know what else I
could do. Maybe I could grow lemons for a living and open a lemonade
stand on the side. "They" say the trick is to find a job doing what
you love... But I don't know what I love. I feel as if I am the age
where I should be past defining/finding myself. But the truth is, I
feel that journey has just begun...

My mentor called me "determined". And I was astounded. How can one
with no direction be determined? Or maybe... I'm following a course
that has been pre-determined long ago... and I'm simply trying to
uncover the tracks.

Well, that is enough deep thinking for me... I'm just going to hope
that for the rest of the week I end up with something sweeter than
lemons.