Confession of an Addict

Long time no update, I know...

I am an addict. I can't stop drinking coffee... I down about 3 cups a
day... "nectar of the gods" as I affectionately call it.
Interestingly enough, my alcohol consumption is inversely related to
coffee consumption (translation - I'm not boozing up as much anymore).
In fact, it's been several weeks since I've had a drop of an
alcoholic beverage. Surprising, isn't it?

I am an addict. I can't stop smoking. I blame it on work stress.
But it's really my fault. I know I can stop. I. Just. Don't. Want.
To. Today. partially because...

I am an addict. I miss sex. So much. Had my annual women-doctor visit.

"Are you sexually active?".
"Not today".
Discussion of unsafe sexual practices in my deep, dark and distant past.
"We'll also give you a pregnancy test..."
::guffaws:: "The time that has elapsed since I've last had sex would
be enough time for me to give birth".

I am an addict. I love my new car. I love driving a stick. I love
the pulse of the road in my hand. It's sexy... It's fast... Sunroof
open, sun beating on my dark arms, music pounding...

I am an addict. My arms are 20 shades darker than my tanned legs. I
look like two different people. Yet, I can't bring myself to stop
tanning. Damn.

I am an addict. I love food. Yet I hate it. I have to lose 30
pounds... that's right, 30! How? Drinking coffee and eating fruit.
Five pounds down... only 25 more to go...

I am an addict. I have overslept for the last 3 days... missing my
5:30 gym date for the last 3 mornings. This weekend will be spent at
the gym...

I am an addict. I love to dream about the possibilities. But am
usually too scared to action on them. Scared, why? I don't know why.
The possibility of public embarassment I suppose. Or the possibility
that I overanalyze a situation too much. Or the possibility of
falling head over heels in love which leads to the possibility of
heartbreak. All of these thoughts over a glance and a "hey"... I
know the potential is there... I know it's against the rules... I
know it would be wrong... but would feel so good...